Fitness Funnies

I love yoga. I'm not very good at it yet, but I still love doing it.

So, when I got an email from my mom titled Fw:Yoga, I had to check it out.

Boy am I glad I did.

Here it is:

THERE ARE TWO BASIC TYPES OF YOGA

1. YOGA FROM INDIA

2. YOGA FROM ALABAMA

And, against my better judgement (don'tstealmypoetryit'smeanandifieverfindoutyoudidi'llhuntyoudownandtakeyouforallyou'reworth) I've decided to share a silly poem I wrote a couple of days ago.

I've been working hard on a sonnet, a villanelle and a poem about the phoenix, so writing something goofy like this was a refreshing treat.

Inspired by a silly conversation with JDub about podfitness.com and stories from my sister about a personal trainer from her gym who actually eats double cheeseburgers and drinks cokes while he's working with training clients, I wrote this little gem.

World's Worst Personal Trainer

Keep goin'!
Keep goin'!
Look at that sweat rollin'!
Hey, fatty!
Keep goin'!
Just look at that sweat rollin'!

I know you feel the tugs
of some triple chocolate fudge

but keep movin'!
Keep breathin'
even though you're barely wheezin'!

Keep pumpin'!
Keep jumpin'!
Keep that fat-clogged heart a thumpin'!

You can trust me with your dream
to be hard and fit and lean.
I promise I can make you thin

and you'll pay
and pay
to listen to all I say

as I shove this burger in
the hole above my double chin.