Friday, January 16, 2009

These are reasons, not excuses...

Dear neglected blog (and blog readers),

Perhaps you've missed me. Perhaps you haven't. I know it's been a while and that I have not been much for writing here lately. I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't like to lie to my friends.

There are many reasons I've been absent lately.

Here are just a few:

  • JDub bought me an iphone for Christmas. This means that I almost never use the computer anymore. I love the good tool that the iphone is for me. It keeps me more sharply on task and helps me limit the time of my forays into the internet world. It does have its limitations, though. Typing a whole blog post on my phone is just not my idea of a good time.
  • Facebook has kind of taken over as my primary way of keeping up with friends. What it lacks in depth it makes up for in immediacy. And though I hope I'm steering clear of illusions about the ultimate worth of social networking sites, it is also serving as a good tool for me at this time in my life.
  • I'm feeling a bit jaded, disillusioned about blogging in general. Asking a lot of questions about what place it holds in my life. Is it feeding me? Is my blog feeding others? Until I can answer some of these questions, I doubt the fire for blogging will return.
  • I'm working on a few other writing projects: a poetry manuscript, entries for state and national poetry contests, a new blog where I will write under a pen name, a novel.
  • I've been enjoying your blogs. I'm in much more of a listening, reading mood than a writing mood.
And really, that's what it all comes down to. Brooke, a wise woman I know, calls it the in-breath.
That is a very fitting description for where I am right now in my life. The out-breath is symbolic of creativity, of giving, of activity and release. The in-breath is inspiration, integration. It is learning and soaking in and re-examining. I've felt and given heed to the call to burrow deep, to spiral within and integrate all that I've learned in the wildly creative period of the last year or so, to discover who I am becoming and what I can make of this next phase in my life. I am in no hurry to return or to rush the changes that are taking place.

So, it may still be a while before I'm here and writing regularly. We'll just see how it goes.

Until then, here's a quick list of highlights of the recent past, present and near future:
  • Christmas was great. JDub's parents were here from Germany. His youngest brother was home from his mission. So we had the WHOLE family together many, many times throughout December. I called it Nacnud-palooza. There was laughter and craziness and good food. There were cousins and tears and joy and frustration. Everything that's wonderful and inherent in having a big family and getting them all together. I love these people.
  • Of course there was my side of the family too and this year the comparative quiet and easiness of my smaller family was a good counterpoint. My parents spoiled my kids shamelessly, as usual. We didn't spend much time with them on Christmas, but spent a few days there around New Year's with them. Of course, I adore them too.
  • These beautiful people got married:
    It was a beautiful winter wedding and it makes me so happy to see how happy they are together.
  • Coco turned two. I can hardly wrap my brain around that. How can it have been two whole years since he was born? Tell me. How?
  • Mashuga turned six. Wowsers. I can't believe how big he is. School is going much better for him, by the way. Not much has changed academically. He's still bored, but he seems to have adapted and found a way to be happy despite it all. I'm pleased for him and have felt all along that the things he would learn in school this year had very little to do with academics.
  • Coco and I discovered this video on youtube a few days ago.
    He LOVES Elmo and so we have watched it no less than fifty times in the last 72 hours.
  • I decided not to return to school in the fall (did I ever even mention that I was considering it?)
  • And here's why:
    To even begin to tell you how excited and terrified we are at the prospect of having a fifth child would take more words than I think are stored in my brain right now. Let's just say it's been a huge adjustment. I didn't even tell JDub for a week. And only barely told my sister and mom, who are usually the 2nd and 3rd to know. I've always felt that we had one more daughter that needed to be in our family. But I was beginning to think that maybe I was wrong, maybe our family was complete. Apparently not. Both JDub and I feel like this is a girl, but if we're wrong and it's a boy... Gosh, I don't know.
That's about it. Oh, except that my sister Skanooey has started a blog and you really ought to check it out. She is a dispatcher and her husband is working toward becoming a police officer. I think the address to their blog is so incredibly clever: ourworknumberis911.blogspot.comGo visit her. I promise it's worth it.

Also, Scud and Kaitybean have been writing on their blogs lately. Maybe it's just because I'm their mom, but I think they're charming little people who have interesting things to say. And they'd love some comment love.
Click here for Scud.
Click here for Kaitybean.

5 comments:

Mommy Bee said...

and that makes three people who had babies the same time as I did who are now pregnant again...mother nature hates me I think. *sigh* well, soon hopefully I will join the ranks!

Duchess said...

Heather! Congratulations! That's wonderful. YEAH FOR BABIES!

Heidi said...

Congratulations Heather - What a lucky baby to be born to a wonderful mama like you!

Charlotte said...

Congratulations! :)

Ben and Teri said...

Congratulations Heather!! I am so excited for you and your family!!