One More Meme

In which I am allowed only one word per question.

1. Where is your cell phone? bathroom
2. Your significant other? wonderful
3. Your hair? ridiculous
4. Worst bad habit? procrastinating
5. Favorite food? fajitas
6. Your favorite thing? people
7. Your dream last night? snakes
8. Your favorite drink? milk
9. Your dream/goal? publish
10.The room you're in? office
11. Your ex? okay
12. Your fear? kidnapping
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? everywhere
14. Where were you last night? poetry
15. What you're not? organized
16. Muffins? blueberry
17. One of your wish list items? freezer
18. Where you grew up? Tooele
19. The last thing you did? rouse
20. What are you wearing? pajamas
21. Your TV? connected
22. Your pets? extra
23. Your computer? Apple
24. Your life? rich
25. Your mood? fulfilled
26. Missing someone? always
27. Your car? dependable
28. Something you're not wearing? pants
29. Favorite Store? Target
30. Your summer? soon
31. Love someone? desperately
32. When is the last time you laughed? now
33. Last time you cried? birth
34. Who will/would re-post this? Beautopotamus

Pequeños Milagros

On Monday, I had the honor of attending a movingly lovely, smooth, easy home birth. It was so delightful. Even the mom, during active labor, described her feelings as "euphoric". The greatest honor was that the mother was my sister in law -- a very dear friend. This sweet baby is my new nephew, Duke. Welcome to the world, buddy. You're a lucky little guy to have been born so peacefully into such a wonderful family.

This Cracked Me Up

Star Wars According to a 3 Year Old

Let Me Explain

No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

I think it's only fair to let you, my fabulous blog friends, in on a bit about the inner workings of my mind. Laura mentioned that my posts seem to be up and down lately. Others have expressed concern many times when I've talked about frustrations, anger, sadness, self-loathing.

For me, though, talking about it means I'm probably okay. It's like what my Grandma Murray always used to say "As long as you think you're crazy, you're probably not."

As long as I have the self-awareness to admit to and give myself permission to fully feel whatever it is I happen to be feeling, this is a pretty good sign that my mental health is in good shape. That I am able to see that I am feeling unhappy and give that feeling voice, even if it's scary, is an acknowledgment on my part that my feelings are a transitory thing. They do not define or control me.

It is when I am unable to recognize negative feelings as abnormal, when I turn them in on myself like daggers, that I am in trouble. The recognition is always the first step out for me.

That doesn't mean I'm not sad right now. I am. I'm hurting.

But I am still so terribly grateful for my life, for all I'm learning. I know I am so loved by my Heavenly Father, that I am important and good.

And I know that I am cared about by so many wonderful people, like all of you. Thank you ever so much for your support and kind words. It means so much to me.

So, I didn't do so good at the summing up thing. Did I? Truly, brevity is not my gift.

So, to sum up, here's one of my very favorite poems.


The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~ Rumi ~

Going Dark

Am I the only one out there who blogs the least when they have the most important things to say?

My heart is full. There are tears perching just above my eyelashes, waiting to spill. So many things have happened over the last week or so that have really rocked me. Then last night and today, a small thing has happened that really has me on edge. It is small really, but so huge in that I can't even find the words to explain why it is so unsettling for me. I still don't know exactly why.

So, if you don't hear from me for a while you can find me and my neuroses curled up in the corner with a box of chocolate truffles.

I'll see you on the other side.