The Wow's In the Book by Kaitybean

So, for this postdated poetry Tuesday, I'm going to post a poem my Kaitybean wrote for her school's reflections contest. She won first place! Yay, Kaitybean!

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The Wow's In The Book
by Kaitybean

When you take a good look in a book,
marvelous wonders behold!
A stroll with the cat, the bear, or the crook,
there’s no end to chance, when you’re in a book!

You can soar through the sky, to the moon,
romp where the elephants roam!
You’re swinging with monkeys, and soon,
you’ll have a big show with baboons!

Just open right up and look inside,
you’ll never want to go back!
Through many adventures you travel wide
on phrases of fun -- a wonderous ride!

Your choices are never ending:
fantasy, nonfiction, or mysteries!
Through your mind questions are racing!
Your “wow’s” are only beginning!

Ten Whole Years

Ten years ago, just after midnight, my water broke. We drove by the light of a full moon to Gunnison, Utah from our little home in Ephraim. I was excited, strangely confident and ready despite the fact that I was 37 1/2 weeks pregnant and even in my wildest dreams did not expect to be giving birth so soon.

JDub was a bit of a wreck, but he stuck with me and helped me pack and get there.

I walked the halls of the hospital, plunging into a squat with each wave. We watched home improvement shows and Gilligan's Island. My parents and sister and brother took turns spending time with us in my room. Interestingly enough, my fourteen year old brother was my greatest comfort during the contractions. He was so tender and so present.

After 15 1/2 hours of labor, I decided I was ready for an epidural. I'd really had no intention of giving birth naturally, unless it just happened that way. And by this point, I was ready for a rest and some relief. It was just what I needed. Despite some complications and plummeting blood pressure that had to be resolved, I was grateful when it was in place. I took a nap and woke up to some pressure sensations.

I didn't tell anyone or even open my eyes, but gently, gradually began to push my sweet baby into the world. That quiet space was the space where I began to become a mother. Eyes closed, body filled with light, I held tightly to the tender secret that my child would soon be in my arms. I talked with her and with my Heavenly Father. I made promises and let go of old agreements and readied myself for the rest of my life.

There are no words for the sweetness of that time.

After 15 minutes or 30, I don't know, I felt it was time to let everyone else in and welcome their help with the birth. I pushed for 30 minutes and my tiny daughter was out of my body and on my chest and I would never be the same again.



I was a mother, forever, through and through. Nothing else I had been before would ever matter as much or hold as big a part of me as this new little being.

Now, I have very few words to tell the beauty and awe I feel.

This, my 4 lb 13 oz baby girl:



has become this, my too-lovely-for-expression daughter:



I thought I knew joy ten years ago. But, ten years of being a mother to such a lovely, bright, amazing daughter is more than I will ever deserve. She has written poetry in my heart and I will never be the same. I simply will never be able to capture her goodness, her heart in words. She is far too wonderful.

Thank you, my daughter, for choosing me.

Happy birthday to both of us.

Pictures, Pictures and More Pictures

First, some photos of our Valentine's Day Sugar Cookies because it's my blog and I'll post holiday cookie pictures a month late if I want to.





Next, we'll move on to two cute pictures of Kaitybean. These are very common facial expressions for her and they crack me up.



Oh, and see how much she and Mashuga love each other?



And now we shall move on to Coco pictures. I adore this kid.

"Je t'adore! Je t'window! I don't care!" (Anybody know that movie?)

Here's Coco playing with Daddy:



And sleeping with Daddy:



And getting into a tub of frosting and making a mess:




And after he fell on the ice in our driveway and scraped his cute face:



And playing outside on the trampoline, one of his new favorite activities:




Here's what dinner often looks like at our house:




And last of all, these may look like icicles to you. But these, my friends, are winter roses. My sweet husband and children have been picking them for me often. At first I thought they were a bit crazy, now I think it's adorable. And they really are beautiful.



So, that's it for now. Sorry, quite the overload, I know. I really need to get into the habit of unloading pictures from my camera and posting them here frequently, rather than waiting for months and then deluging you with photos of my crazy family.

Hope you enjoy.

Love This Girl

On Saturday she asked me, "Mom am I pretty yet or am I still just cute?"

I took her sweet face in my hands and said, "Kaitybean, you are very pretty."

BTW, late SOS post coming today. Sorry to have left you hanging for so long.

Yet Another Reason Why My Daughter is Already a Better Woman Than I...

I love this girl.

I have been dealing with some pretty intense self-loathing lately. There are some things going on with me emotionally and physically that have been difficult. I haven't shared them here yet. Partly because I'm not ready to share. Mostly because I'm still in denial.

But, this daughter of mine is so wonderful. Having her around and seeing how amazing she is makes me realize that I must not be so bad after all.

Not that I can take too much credit for her amazingness. I can be a little proud, though, right?

We were making bread a few days ago and she said, "I can't wait to have children to take care of. I want to be a good mom just like you are."

My heart melted, of course.

Then she sagely said, "I guess if I want to be like you then I should start trying to be just like you now."

Wow. Talk about the greates compliment I've ever received. I know she may feel differently in a few years, but for now my daughter wants to be just like me.

Also, before this she was watching me nurse Coco and said how cute he was when he was nursing and how she was excited to nurse her babies. Ahhh...

But here's what made me most proud of her this week. We were at the grocery store at the checkout stand. Kaitybean was looking at the magazines.

She looked at me and said, "Mom, I don't get it. All the magazines with women on them and for women all have stuff like "How to lose 20 pounds' or 'How to get flat abs' and stuff. I think it's stupid. It's like they're telling us we're not good enough. I don't like it. I think women are beautiful just the way they are."

I can't tell you how proud I was in that moment. I'm sure you can imagine. She is already noticing the ways society and Satan undermine women and she is talking back!

And she's noticing the beautiful, truly wonderful things about womanhood and committing herself to being that kind of beautiful, doing those things.

Some days I wish she had a better role model, though I am doing my best and she's obviously turning out alright. I'm just so lucky to have her as my daughter.

I worry about the days when worries about boys and peer pressure will swirl around her, but I hope that this core of who she is, this strong woman will hold steady.

Itty Bitty Reunion Report

It was a good weekend. I was very surprised by just how much I enjoyed our family reunion. I realized that I actually really like this motley crew I call my family. Granted, some of them look like the type of people I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, but they all love me and each other and when it comes down to it, are good people. I was surprised by how warmly I felt toward everyone and how genuinely glad I was to be around this crazy family of mine.

I was especially glad to see some of my family that I haven't seen for over a decade.

Then there was my cousin, C, who is witty, warm and welcoming. One of my favorite people and its been forever since I saw him. A couple of my favorite quote from him:

Speaking (very lovingly) of one of our other cousins:
"Well, you know, that gray matter isn't magically going to come to life with age."

and

Speaking (perhaps less lovingly) of one of our cousins with whom he hasn't always gotten along:
"Are you kidding, I haven't seen him for 16, 17, 18 years. I had to come. Couldn't miss it. It's like a trip to the zoo."

My Dad's cousin J.R. and his family I especially haven't seen for a long time and it was wonderful to see them. He has a son, F, who is my age and has just always been uber-cool to me. Still is. He now works for Policy Today and will be taking a break from his job soon to take a long biking trip through Italy and Croatia with his girlfriend and her parents. Yeah, an interesting glimpse at the road not taken.

I'd be tempted to regret my life choices and wonder at "what ifs," but I've got these cool kids.

Coco was passed around and around, of course, as babies always are at family functions. Everyone oohed and ahhed over how pretty he is.

Kaitybean got to spend some time with J, one of my cousin's daughters who was born just a month after Kaitybean. They had a ball. They made a dam with JDub, rode bikes, climbed trees, got dirty and sang Hillary Duff and Britney Spears songs for all of us.

Scud was his usual blend of kookiness and timidity. He contorted his face for the camera, rode scooters all over and was just his wonderful, ever-present self. Watching and enjoying it all. Just taking it all in. Sure love him.

Mashuga was, of course, the star of the party. He tends to do that. Things just kind of turn into the Mashuga show. This was no exception. Just after dinner, they started karaoke. Well, Mashuga got up on the stage with the microphone and talked and welcomed everyone. Then, he sang a rousing rendition of "A Young Man Prepared". Nothing like a good church song to start off a night of inebriated karaoke.

But then, oh then, he got up and danced while someone else was singing.

It was hilarious, I tell you. Hil.ar.i.ous. This kid can move. And then, he turned around and did his little bum shake. Nobody expected it and we all laughed like crazy.

Videos and pictures are forthcoming. They just happen to be on JDub's computer, which is at work with him.

Don't worry, bloggy friends. I will not deprive you. You MUST see this.

And as we were leaving, my cousin C gave me one of the best compliments he ever could have given.

"I love your kids," he told me.

Then, at my shocked look he insisted, "Really. You have really great kids. They're normal kids, of course, but compared to a lot they are really well-behaved. And they're so much fun and so friendly and comfortable with people."

Ahhhhhh.......

Just hearing that made the whole trip worthwhile.

In Praise of Sassy Girls, Smart Children and a Great School

Last night Kaitybean was playing Scrabble with JDub and my brother and his wife. Somehow they got on the subject of nouns and someone asked her what a noun was.

"Person, place or thing," Kaitybean said. "Like, in the sentence 'The frightened girl ran away quickly.' the noun is 'girl'."

So, they all quizzed her on which word in that sentence was an adjective, which was the verb. I asked her about adverbs and whether or not she knew what they were.

"Adverbs are the how, where and when of the verb," she answered, "Like quickly. That's how the girl ran. Quickly is the adverb."

Then, my sister asked, "So what is the preposition in that sentence?"

Kaitybean came back with, "Well, it would be 'away', but there is no object of the preposition, so 'away' is actually another adverb."

We all laughed and were terribly impressed.

I didn't know that kind of stuff until I was in college and teaching others how to write.

I love Kaitybean. And I love her school. And I love Shurley English.

In other news, we're moving Scud to 1st grade this week. I've really struggled with the decision and almost put him in first grade this year to begin with, but felt that Kindergarten would be best. But, a couple of weeks ago he told me, "Mom, I'm too old and too smart for kindergarten. I think you need to think about putting me in first grade." How do you argue with that? After talking to his teacher and principal, some testing and a trial period in first grade math it turns out he was right.

I've been agonizing over the decision -- thinking about cause and effect, everything from when he gets his license to when he'll go on a mission. Finally, I just decided that it's foolishness on my part to make decisions based on "what ifs" and "mights". I do know that this is the right decision for right now. I can worry about tomorrow's decisions tomorrow.

UPDATE: We (Scud's principal, kindrgarten teacher, 1st grade teacher and I) had a meeting this morning. We determined that it would be best to have Scud do one more trial week -- this time for a full day of first grade. We will evaluate next Tuesday. My main concern is that don't want him to go from beimg way ahead of his classmates to a point where he's struggling to keep up.

There's a reason my home looks like a warzone right now.

A hostile enemy has been ravaging our household since Thursday. It goes by the name of Influenza A. You know, I always poo poo the necessity of getting flu shots each year. Then, every time we get the flu, I'm suddenly a believer. So, next autumn will someone please hit me over the head with a brick if you don't see my whole family standing in line at the nearest arm-sticking establishment waiting for our flu shots? I tell you, this stuff is rotten.

Kaitybean started with it first on Thursday. She got into the car after school looking like she'd just been hit by a train. Byt the morning she was miserable -- fever, headache, chills, body aches, cough -- the whole works. The rest of us quickly followed suit and our home was awash with groans and cries. There were pillows and blankets and used tissues everywhere. The kids downed two bottles of children's ibuprofen. I went through about half a bottle of the adult variety by myself over the weekend. Even Jack Jack got into the act, spiking a fever of 100.7 and narrowly avoiding a trip to the emergency room.

You know what makes this story even more fun? Our friend Influenza came through our door just days after his friend Streptococcal Pharyngitis decided to leave.

Blech!!!!!!

So to say my house is a mess would be putting it mildly. I feel this desperate need to wash all of the sheets and scrub the house from floor to ceiling with bleach. Oh yeah, and I'm going to buy us all new toothbrushes tonight. NO MORE OF THIS!

On a somewhat more upbeat note, Mashuga and Kaitybean have also made our house rather warlike. They are like fire and water lately -- two earth-shaping elemental forces that simply cannot coexist. And I'm about ready to tear them both from limb to limb. Really, they can't seem to be within 20 feet of each other without arguing about something. One of their recent arguments:

Mashuga: We're all playing the puppy game. I'm scamp puppy. And Mommy is "mommy dog" and Scud is "brother dog" and you're "sister puppy" and...

Kaitybean: I am not sister puppy!

Mashuga: Yes you are. We're all playing the puppy game.

Kaitybean: No I'm not! I'm not playing the puppy game! I'm not sister puppy! You're so dumb.

But here's the best argument they've EVER had. It started one day when they were arguing in the car on the way to school. (This is after the hour and a half they'd spent bickering since they woke up that morning.) I asked begged, threatened and demanded that one of them PLEASE be the peacemaker and stop responding to the other. They were silent for a moment, then this ensued:

Mashuga: Kaitybean, I'm being a peacemaker.

Kaitybean: No you're not, I'm the peacemaker.

Mashuga: Nuh-uh! I'm the peacemaker.

Kaitybean: NO, I'm the peacemaker.

Mashuga: I'm a better peacemaker than you!!!!

Kaitybean: You ARE NOT. I am the one being a peacemaker here! You don't even know what it means to be a peacemaker!

Mashuga: Yes, I do!

Kaitybean: Do not.

Mashuga: UH-HUH!!!! Mom, tell Kaitybean that I know how to be a peacemaker!

I'm sure you can imagine the convulsions of laughter I was experiencing during this interchange. It made it awfully hard to drive. For a very short while I didn't even mind that they were fighting.