Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Why I'm Not Posting Much

  • Coco has one of those unexplained fevers with no other symptoms.
  • This is the one week of the year that JDub works from 6am until 10pm.
  • I am working on a new book/project with my friend Edge that I am super excited about. You'll just have to wait and see, but it will be cool.
  • Took Kaitybean to the dentist and to get her hair cut today. Woohoo! She looks great with her new front tooth and layers and bangs.
  • I got some very sad news today. I'm not ready quite yet to write about it, but I'm sure I will.
  • According to Mashuga, there are wild wolves coming to our house. They know how to open the door. And he will be the king of the wolves. And the wolves got out of the zoo. And werewolves are just giant wolves the size of our house. And... And... And... GAK! I'm glad he is sleeping now.

So, I'm hoping you can help me solve a little dilemma I have. Mashuga will. not. stay. buckled. in his carseat. Sometimes rewards work. Sometimes bribery works. I've even tried good old-fashioned murder threats. No beans. The kid sometimes can't even make it out of our driveway without unbuckling himself. He has even unbuckled and shot out the door while we were waiting for a train. So, what to do?

Remember, unless you are the parent of an honest-to-goodness, sword-wielding, uber-spirited indigo child, you may think that the regular tricks might work. Trust me. I've tried most of the regular tricks. (That doesn't mean I'm not open to hearing repeats. Maybe you have some simple, obvious solution that I am too blinded with frustration to see. I'm desperate here. I'll take anything.)

So, what was I saying? Oh yes. Mashuga and the no-likey being safely restrained in the carseat and the Mommy about ready to resort to desperate measures.

Like zip ties. You know, the ones that swat teams keep on their jackets in dozens to be used as restraints for hostage-taking lunatics? Yes, those little guys. I've contemplated buying some to use either to hold the straps of Mashuga's carseat together. Or to hold his hands together. I'd just have to carry a pair of scissors in the car and set him free whenever we get to our destination. Now, aside from that being very wasteful and such, I also have visions of our car bursting into flames and me not having time to get Mashuga AND Coco out in time and Mashuga being unable to free himself.

Like I said. Desperate. He must stay buckled in his carseat. We have talked and talked about the importance of being buckled up to stay safe. He has talked with a highway patrolman about it. Officer Urban explained to him how important it is to stay buckled. I have told him how precious he is to our family and how horrible it would be if something happened to him. When he blinked at death, I explained to him that he could also be hurt so badly that he couldn't play or run or protect others with his super-powers. As I said, I've tried rewards. I've tried "catching" him being good and taking him out for ice cream because he stayed buckled for every car trip during the day. I have tried sooooooo many things.

I keep thinking that there must be some gentle, mindful solution. Something that will protect his body from being broken without the need for breaking his spirit. Some way to get one of the world's most dynamic and formidable forces -- Mashuga's own will and choice -- on my side. (This is always the goal with this kid. If I can get him to make good choices on his own, because it's what he wants, there is NOTHING that can stand in the way.) I know there's some way, but I haven't found it yet.

So, I'm opening it up to you and your vast wisdom. Any ideas?

And so much for not posting much.


Kristin & Brett said...

This probably isn't the answer you want to hear, but I would take this as a sign that he is having to spend too much time in the car. I think for a toddler it IS painful and horrible to have to be confined in a car seat. Just because it has become a normal part of our day does not mean it is a normal part of what a healthy, spirited child has evolved (or was created) to expect. I have a friend who actually considers carseats a form of child abuse, because it makes a child do something so counter to their nature. I had the same issue with my wild and strong-willed son...The only thing that worked was when I started limiting the car trips. Also, if there is any option of him choosing something different--like staying with a neighbor while you do errands or pick up his siblings--even if it is such a pain, try it! Let me guess--if you are headed toward something HE wants to do, it isn't a problem? Approach it as a "family" problem, not "your" problem with him and see what he has to say. "Let's see--I need to do these errands, you aren't willing to stay buckled, what should WE do?"
I am assuming his seat is appropriately sized and comfortable for him? What does he say is the reason why he does it? He likes watching you lose it? Does he need something novel to play with in the car? Is he bored or uncomfortable? Does he not want to go where you are going?
Best of luck with this--I no longer have this issue since we now take subways everywhere, but I dreaded getting in the car and doing this battle for a long time until we made it through to the other side, just like I know you will too, eventually. :)
Kristin in NY

Jonathan said...

As much as I try, I am constantly reminded that I cannot MAKE my children do anything. (D&C 121:41) So I suggest lots of duct tape!

Rosie said...

I find that duct tape works well in many parenting situations.

piper of love said...

Thank you for commenting on my blog! And for jumping ship for your blog integrity! ~lol~


It's all about the "Crew" said...

Have you tried a different style car seat? Some are too complicated even for adults!

Sorry- I know that is not the most "thrifty" idea -but for safety, it just might be worth considering.