Looking Up--The Only Thing That Will Possibly See Me Through the Next Few Weeks

"Experience has taught me that if we, like President Monson, exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy.³ We will come to realize that most of what we worry about is not of eternal significance—and if it is, the Lord will help us. But we must have the faith to look up and the courage to follow His direction." --Carl B. Cook


From this talk: http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/it-is-better-to-look-up?lang=eng&query=overwhelmed

Why I'm Not Posting Much

• Coco has one of those unexplained fevers with no other symptoms.
• This is the one week of the year that JDub works from 6am until 10pm.
• I am working on a new book/project with my friend Edge that I am super excited about. You'll just have to wait and see, but it will be cool.
  
• Took Kaitybean to the dentist and to get her hair cut today. Woohoo! She looks great with her new front tooth and layers and bangs.
• I got some very sad news today. I'm not ready quite yet to write about it, but I'm sure I will.
  
• According to Mashuga, there are wild wolves coming to our house. They know how to open the door. And he will be the king of the wolves. And the wolves got out of the zoo. And werewolves are just giant wolves the size of our house. And... And... And... GAK! I'm glad he is sleeping now.

So, I'm hoping you can help me solve a little dilemma I have. Mashuga will. not. stay. buckled. in his carseat. Sometimes rewards work. Sometimes bribery works. I've even tried good old-fashioned murder threats. No beans. The kid sometimes can't even make it out of our driveway without unbuckling himself. He has even unbuckled and shot out the door while we were waiting for a train. So, what to do?

Remember, unless you are the parent of an honest-to-goodness, sword-wielding, uber-spirited indigo child, you may think that the regular tricks might work. Trust me. I've tried most of the regular tricks. (That doesn't mean I'm not open to hearing repeats. Maybe you have some simple, obvious solution that I am too blinded with frustration to see. I'm desperate here. I'll take anything.)

So, what was I saying? Oh yes. Mashuga and the no-likey being safely restrained in the carseat and the Mommy about ready to resort to desperate measures.

Like zip ties. You know, the ones that swat teams keep on their jackets in dozens to be used as restraints for hostage-taking lunatics? Yes, those little guys. I've contemplated buying some to use either to hold the straps of Mashuga's carseat together. Or to hold his hands together. I'd just have to carry a pair of scissors in the car and set him free whenever we get to our destination. Now, aside from that being very wasteful and such, I also have visions of our car bursting into flames and me not having time to get Mashuga AND Coco out in time and Mashuga being unable to free himself.

Like I said. Desperate. He must stay buckled in his carseat. We have talked and talked about the importance of being buckled up to stay safe. He has talked with a highway patrolman about it. Officer Urban explained to him how important it is to stay buckled. I have told him how precious he is to our family and how horrible it would be if something happened to him. When he blinked at death, I explained to him that he could also be hurt so badly that he couldn't play or run or protect others with his super-powers. As I said, I've tried rewards. I've tried "catching" him being good and taking him out for ice cream because he stayed buckled for every car trip during the day. I have tried sooooooo many things.

I keep thinking that there must be some gentle, mindful solution. Something that will protect his body from being broken without the need for breaking his spirit. Some way to get one of the world's most dynamic and formidable forces -- Mashuga's own will and choice -- on my side. (This is always the goal with this kid. If I can get him to make good choices on his own, because it's what he wants, there is NOTHING that can stand in the way.) I know there's some way, but I haven't found it yet.

So, I'm opening it up to you and your vast wisdom. Any ideas?

And so much for not posting much.

Brushes With Murphy

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Murphy, you rascal, I love to hate you. You keep popping into my life lately and mixing things up. I'd punch you in the nose and kick you out the door, but then the party wouldn't be nearly as interesting. Would it?

Here are the appearances you've made in my life this week:

• On Monday night I got a call and was told that I needed to rush over and intervene in a fight between two friends. I knew it was urgent, but at that moment Coco needed to be fed. So, being the good Mommy I am, I fed him first.
• I got there in time to be somewhat helpful, but not before the police got there and charged one of the parties with a simple assault. Ironically, they chose to cite the one on crutches who could barely move. Interesting choice, but I wasn't there for the real fireworks so who am I to judge? Murphy, you must love me. My life is never this interesting.
• After getting there I listened to one person rage and yell and then sat on the bathroom floor to listen while the other person cried. And I felt awfully guilty for not getting there sooner and smoothing things out better. Then I realized that these were their choices, not mine. Whether I'd been there earlier or not, I simply did not have to feel guilty over the consequences of someone else's decisions. You almost got me there, buddy.
• Because I was away from home for the better part of Monday night, JDub was left to take care of Coco. Now, I usually nurse him to sleep (Coco, not JDub) and then bring him to bed with me. We're big cosleeping proponents around here. But, I've also been feeling that it's time for Coco to learn how to sleep in his crib. Because I was gone, JDub decided to put him in his crib and let him sleep there. He whimpered a bit, didn't cry frantically like I'd been worried he would if we didn't ease him into the crib-sleeping-gig. And he slept until 6am! On his own! Yay for Coco!
• Here's where you come in, Murph. I woke up with Triple D, rock hard breasts that were screaming in pain. I guess going from three or four night feedings to none will do that. I was very grateful to be able to feed Coco that morning. He smiled and cooed at me and ate happily.
• Then, he projectile vomited all over both of us. I guess you can get too much of a good thing.
• Oh yes, back to Monday. I paid the very last payment on our van. As soon as we get the title in the mail, it is officially ours. Hooray!
• So, on Tuesday I went on a field trip with Mashuga's preschool class. Guess what happened? Really, can you guess? We got done, got all of the kids strapped into our car and it wouldn't start. Nada. Nothin' doin'. Thankfully, though, it was just a dead battery and we were able to jump start it right up.
• Then, that afternoon I was racing out the door at 3:20 to pick up kids. I had lost track of time as I am wont to do. (I can just hear JDub in my head. "The kids get out of school at 3:15? Really? Just like yesterday? When did this happen?") I rushed to get the little boys in their car seats and guess what? Nothing. Not a beep. So, we jump started it. Again.
• We showed up at my sister-in-law's house to pick up the kids an hour late. It really wasn't a problem, especially since she's the angel woman she is. We got Kaitybean to her last soccer game. Late, but there.
• Wednesday went off pretty smoothly. Oh, wait. No it didn't. We went to the gym to workout, Coco and Mashuga and I. We got there at 10am and the Kids' Club (daycare) was full. Not a problem. We walked to a nearby grocery store and got a few things. Then, we went back at 10:30, waited in a line for about 5 people to pick up their children and FINALLY got Mashuga and Coco in.
• I went upstairs to lift weights. I hadn't been working out for more than 10 minutes when I hear over the loudspeaker: "Attention members and guests, could Heather please come to the Kids' Club?" So, I went in. Coco was crying his sweet little heart out. I took him, fed him in the locker room and then dropped him back off with the nice ladies in the Kids' Club. I finished my workout and had time for a shower, even.
  
• That afternoon, after getting kids home from school, Kaitybean to and from ballet and Scud dropped off at football practice, I got a call from JDub. He had a flat tire on his bike and could I please come get him. Of course. We drove for fifteeen minutes before we saw him (handsome as could be) walking along the side of the road with his bicycle. Loaded it in and after being yelled at and honked at several times for being audacious enough to use the shoulder of the road, headed back home. I dropped JDub, Mashuga and Coco off and turned right around to pick Scud up from football practice.
• On Wednesday night I mentioned to JDub that we needed to do something about our TV. The stand we have it on isn't very sturdy and I was worried that one of our kids might pull it down on themselves. He agreed.
  
• So, at 7:30 on Wednesday morning I was downstairs doing laundry and heard a HUGE thud. Scud ran down to me to tell me that he'd managed to pull the television down on himself. I went upstairs to pick it up and the screen was flashing all sorts of shades of yellow, red and orange. The AV cables had broken off so that the prongs were stuck inside the TV.
  
• We cleaned up the mess and still managed to get Scud to school early. (JDub and Kaitybean take the bus to school really early on Thursday mornings so that Kaitybean can go to choir at 7:20.) We then went to the gym for yoga class, something I look forward to all week. We pulled in to a spot right in the front of the gym, walked in and SURPRISE! there was room for my boys in the Kids' Club. Woohoo! So, I got right in and thoroughly enjoyed yoga until someone came in 10 minutes before the end of class and told me to come to the Kids' Club. Coco, again, was crying. So, I signed him out and brought him in to yoga with me, only to find out that babies are not allowed in class. Oops. Not a problem.
• So, that afternoon, I took Mashuga to dance class. I got his dance shoes and realized that, once again, I forgot to buy shoe glue to fix his ballet shoes. The soles are falling off. No problem. I duct taped them on for now and will get shoe glue by next week. If I remember. It was not a fun dance day. Mashuga was tired and had a very difficult time listening to his teachers and being nice to all of the little girls in their cute pink leotards.
• After dance, we picked Scud and Kaitybean up from my SIL's house again. It was a comedy of errors trying to get them all in the car. I'd just get Mashuga rounded up and Kaitybean would disappear, then vice versa. So, we got home at 5:10 and had to leave by 5:20 to get Scud to his football game in time. Needless to say, Scud was late. But, we got him there. And it was a fun game to watch. Sadly, I couldn't get in touch with JDub to have him meet us and watch the game with us. Just as I was trying to call him the third time, my phone died. Which also meant that we couldn't order pizza to pick up after the game.
  
• So, I drove home, ordered pizza. Waited for 45 minutes to go pick it up and it wasn't done when I got there. I got home at about 8:30 and we all ate pizza and went to bed.
• Then, this morning, Coco (who has continued to sleep in his crib all week, hooray!) woke up at 5am and wouldn't go back to sleep. He finally fell asleep at around 6:30 and I decided that I'd join him for a little nap before I had to wake kids up for school. The next thing I know, Kaitybean is standing at the side of my bed, fully dressed and telling me it's 7:50 already. Aaaargh! We were late for school once again.

Do you want to know the funny thing about this week, though, Murphy my friend? All of the above may sound like complaining. It has been a truly nutty week. But, I am just so grateful for the gifts this week has given me.

• I was able to learn much from Monday night's situation. I grew closer to someone I haven't had much of a chance to get to know well.
  
• I was able to realize just what a treasure I have in my husband. He is my best friend. He treats me with kindness and respect. He is patient with me. He is unselfish and always trying to do what he can to make my life easier, to make me happier. We have learned through the last decade to work together, to communicate and to put our love for one another before anything else.
• Coco learned to sleep in his crib! I have had four uninterrupted nights of sleep in a row. This morning's sleep ended earlier than I would have liked and I probably should have just stayed up, but I still got to sleep for 6 hours without being woken up.
• My body has very quickly adjusted to Coco's new eating schedule and needs. What a miracle breastfeeding is! I am so grateful that it works so perfectly to meet his needs.
• I have a vehicle that gets us all over -- school, football, dance, soccer, football. We've had it since 2002. It has driven 220 thousand miles and the only issue we have with it right now is either a dying battery or an alternator that might not be working properly. Small potatoes, don't you think?
• I'm grateful to have family close and especially thankful for angel sisters and sisters-in-law.
• I'm grateful for a cool husband who was able to take the TV apart last night and get it working again. How awesome is he? Also, so grateful that we're not all that dependent on TV. We just don't watch it that much anymore.
  
• I have four beautiful, wonderful children and the means to allow them to play sports, participate in dance and choir and such. Playing taxi is a sacrifice, but how can I pity myself when I am so very blessed by such wonderful people to play taxi for.
• Thanks to my regular yoga practice, I am feeling my body grow firmer, stronger, looser. My mind and spirit are growing along with my body. I am more joyful, more peaceful, calmer. So, I missed ten minutes of a yoga class. So, what?
• I have one of the most amazingly beautiful and wonderful babies I could even imagine. He is such a sweetheart. And if he needs his mommy right now, rather than being able to be in the gym's daycare I understand. He is doing big things right now. Learning to sleep in a crib. He just finished getting two more teeth. He is learning to walk by himself and walking 10 or more steps at a time without holding onto anything. I'm so glad that I'm the lucky mom who gets to be there as his safe haven, the comfort he needs in order to have the strength to take on the world.
  
• And I am so grateful for a gym I love, at a price I can afford and with a phenomenal daycare that I can take my children to while I take some time for me. I can wait my turn for the Kid's club.
• I told Kaitybean last night that she would need to wake up early to finish her homework. And she did, without me even needing to get out of bed. How cool is that?

So, Murphy, this is why I love to hate you. You think you're wreaking havoc in my life, but I know better. This nutsiness and difficulty is what life is all about. And if the highs are this high, I'll take any lows you want to throw at me. Bring it on.

So Little Time...

So much to blog about.

I feel terribly behind right now. There's so much I'm dying to tell you!

It's been a busy week.

Here are the posts I owe you and will be getting up very soon:

• My haircut, including pictures and the whole detailed story. Aaargh! Will I never find a stylist that I trust who lives close to me????? And how old will I be before my mom stops making hair appointments for me? (Thanks Mom!)
• Drawing from my roll call post. I know who the lucky three winners are, but I'm not telling now because I have darling pictures of Mashuga making the picks. You can wait for that, right?
• All about my date with 6, no 8!, handsome men to see the Real Salt Lake vs. L.A. Galaxy game and how they acted like gorillas and ninjas on the train ride home. Yes, I have pictures.
• Why I go to bed with two men every night and generally wake up with three or four. Hint: one of them is short, mostly bald and on the chubby side.
• The joy of our school's fall festival -- tonight! Of course I'll take the camera.
  
• Also, it's been a while since I did a Soap Opera Sunday and I think I have just the story to start this weekend. It involves one of the only two grudges I've held for over a decade. (The other one is when Breannon pinched me on St. Patrick's Day at preschool and said I wasn't wearing green when, in fact, my rainbow striped shirt had several green stripes! I hated her for this until I was about fifteen and came to my senses. *grin*)

Have a marvelous weekend. Truly, I'll try to catch up. I feel like I've been too busy to blog. When I really think about it, though, I've mainly just been walking around in a haze this week and eating lots of potato chips. I'm praying that this is not an early sign of impending SAD.

A Burst of Creativity

Before you move on, please read the post below -- Finding Gravity -- and comment.

Have you read it yet? Commented? Really, I need help.

Okay, moving on.

I have felt rather creative lately and have been working on some things this week.

First, I finally took this, which I took about a year to finish (not because it was hard, but because I did it in fits and spurts) and which has been finished for at least two months:



Then, I cleaned, trimmed and framed it. Here's the finished product:



I spent the better part of an hour trying to get it straight. It's still not quite straight. Shhh. Don't say anything. I might have to spend another fruitless hour. I'm happy with how it turned out. I love this little blessing I found the door of a retreat center in Santa Barbara. This will sit on a shelf in our entryway (a shelf that is waiting to be painted).

Here is the last cross-stitch I finished. This also took about a year. For the same reason as above, but it was also hard. It is about 60% my own design. I didn't design the house. I saw this saying in a little cottage in Spring City, Utah.



Now, I'll be working with this:




And these:



This is how far I've gotten:



Three of my six chairs primed and sanded. I grossly underestimated how much extra work it would give me to allow my children (and the neighbor girl) to help. Don't you love the pepto-pink primer?

Next up is this:



Which I hope will magically transform itself into some lovely tote bags, diaper bags and handbags to use and to sell on etsy.

Also, I NEEEEEEEED to get this clean, organized and liveable.





I'm hoping this will make it a nicer place to write and to create.

Coco has had his own creative spurt. He turned seven months old on Tuesday. And he's already doing this:




He loves to look out our window and watch his siblings play.



I keep fighting the urge to beg him to SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN. He is in such a hurry to be like his older siblings.

Have a marvelous weekend.

Come back on Sunday and I'll be joining in the fun of Brillig and Kate's Soap Opera Sunday. Now, which soap opera moment to choose...

Numbers Game

I am the mother of four.

I am learning that the more children you have, the more the numbers in your life grow.

Because I am the mother of four, every time we go anywhere I am responsible for clothing five total people. Sometimes I even have to make sure JDub is dressed appropriately before we head out the door.

This means ten socks. Ten shoes. Seldom are they where they should be.

Now, this part HAS gotten easier as my children have become more independent. But any mother knows that just because a child is at the age where he can dress himself doesn't mean that he really always dresses himself. Cries of "Mom, where is my...?" and "Mom, I can't find...!" abound.

This means that I have five mouths to feed on a daily basis. Three meals a day plus snacks in between -- a minimum of 21 meals a day. Oh and there's JDub. I prepare food for him at least once a day.

And buying the food is no picnic either, especially since gas prices put the grocery guys out of business. On Monday, Mashuga, Coco and I went to Target. There we purchased a heaping cart full of food for one week. When we got to the checkout line we found that all of our groceries would not fit back into one cart. So, I managed to get two small children and two full carts out to our car. Then, I loaded approximately 40 bags and other assorted items from the car to the house. I won't even estimate how many individual items I then put away. I'm guessing it is about one hundred.

Having four children means about 12 loads of laundry each week. Or more.

It means that I am responsible for the cleaning and trimming of 100 fingernails and toenails on a weekly basis.

I am the one must try to make sure that approximately 100 teeth get cleaned twice a day. More when Coco actually gets teeth.

That means a minimum of ten dentists appointments per year.

An average of twelve doctor's visits per year.

At least six rolls of toilet paper, seven pull-ups and 30 diapers per week.

It means about 300 minutes spent in the car each week driving to and from a charter school for which I've put in approximately 200 hours of volunteer time in the past year.

But that's not all.

I get and give at least 25 kisses and ten hugs every single day.

I hear "I love you." at least 10 times a day. And I get to say it even more.

I get to see dozens of smiles, kiss countless owies, heal broken hearts every day.

I get to read close to 21 bedtime stories and sing nearly 30 lullabies every week.

It also means that if each of my current children has only two children of their own, I'll have at least 8 grandchildren. And I hear they are worth all the effort.

So, it's not about the numbers, though the numbers are staggering when I think about it.

And I am certainly not complaining about numbers now. I know that, in 20 years, the numbers I'll be measuring are miles between me and each of my children, days I go without kissing them, years since they left home.

So with all of my counting today, I'm trying to mindfully count the most important thingss -- my blessings.

Bleh...

So, I've not had much original thought on here lately. That's mostly because the things that have been rolling through my mind lately have not passed my onboard critic as "fit for public consumption". It's been an interesting last couple of weeks. Good and bad mixed together.

First, can I just say how much I HATE, LOATHE, DETEST mental illness. Honestly. I'm tired of it. Tired of how it has affected me, has affected my family members.

Now that that's out of the way, I can (try to) be my usual, chatty self.

Among other things, soccer season is over. What a fun team we had this year. And Mashuga actually almost played by the end of the season. He spent more and more time on the field and less and less time tackling people while he was on the field. I have hope and must remember that my older two had their butterly-chasing-dandelion-picking seasons as well. Of course, with Mashuga, I'd be overjoyed if picking dandelions were the worst of what he did. He just does things BIGGER and LOUDER than everyone and found much fun in kicking the ball away from the other team as they were setting up for a corner kick, or tackling anyone who came near him, or laying down in the goal, or losing his britches during the game (well, that was involuntary, but very, VERY funny).

Kaitybean had her first track meet, ran her first race AND WON! Hooray! It was terribly cold, though, and we left before she completed all of her events.

Scud played in his first tee-ball game. It was fun to watch him. He has a good arm! Mashuga, Coco and I shivered through it while Kaitybean hung out in the car.

I took a trip to the ER last week for strange, severe chest and shoulder pain. They didn't find anything wrong and the Dr. suspected that it might be musculo-skeletal. So, I need to pay a visit to my brother the chiropractor. I'm thinking it might have something to do with carrying a little guy around in a sling for hours at a time.

The week before that we took a vacation to Salt Lake City and visited the zoo, Clark Planetarium, Discovery Gateway and other fun places. I turned 29 while we were up there.

So, it's been busy. I won't regale you with every detail. Let's just say I am overwhelmed. And sad. And feeling a bit time-poor. But I'm certain it will all look better soon. And until then, I'll just laugh at the post below. I suggest you do the same.