Random Thoughts For a Random Monday

Malt O Meal: Coco is eating Malt O Meal this morning for breakfast. As we speak he is making a huge mess. He loves it, but it's not so easy for toddlers to eat. He refused to wear a bib, to boot. He is wearing his last clean shirt.

Laundry: So, today is a laundry day. I'm WAAAAAAYYY behind. After a few weeks of diligent one-load-a-day days, I'm regressing to my old, wash and fold laundry all day ways.

Math: Before we started with the folding, Scud and I started on some math. As happened when I homeschooled Kaitybean, the frustration with Saxon Math has come. Perhaps it was inevitable. The circular structure of it makes the kids (and me) feel like we're doing a TON of math without actually getting anywhere. It's like running on a hamster wheel. So, we're going to try some new things -- math games only for drilling math facts, Singapore Math for general math instruction. Later this week or next we'll do a placement test to see where Scud actually needs to be in Singapore, but for now I just dug an old 1st/2nd grade book out of the book box. From what I've seen from just the few pages he's done, this has already restored a bit of his confidence and sense that math can be fun.

Asperger's Syndrome: Because my oh-so-clever-and-charmingly-irreverent sister has gotten both JDub and I to the point that we can't say "Our son might have Asperger's." without laughing raucously at the juvenile humor surrounding the pronunciation of "Asperger's" we have now taken to calling it AS in our home. (And kudos to you if you actually finished that ridiculous run-on sentence with some sense of what I was trying to say.) We are currently working with the school psychologist to screen Scud for AS and other possibilities. He is a sweet, funny, wonderful child. He's also quirky and awkward and I'm finally starting to wonder if my constant feeling of NEVER being able to get it right with this child has something to it. Perhaps he has needs I don't understand and don't have the resources to meet. We shall see what comes of this. It could be any number of things, or nothing, but AS is what seems most likely at this point.

Floss: Last week, when I bought the 100 meter tube of my favorite floss, I thought "What's the point? Coco is just going to find it and pull out at least half of it anyway." Sure enough. A few days later I found him with at least 25 meters of floss wound all around his body and his bedroom. Some days I hate being right.

Facebook: I have a love/hate relationship with facebook. I love the ability to quickly see what so many people are up to and to re-connect with lots of people at once. But I also really dislike the illusion of actual friendship that it gives. There are days that it feels (to borrow a friend's phrase) about as sincere as the signing of high school yearbooks. And other days that I feel very connected to people only to realize that I haven't actually talked to any of them in person for years and have no solid plans for doing so in the future. Sort of weird, no?

Friendship: Then there's the whole feeling I have lately that I think I'm sort of impaired when it comes to the friendship thing. I've felt rather lonely lately. It's not that I don't have people who care about me or that I am at all isolated. It's just that I make friendship more difficult that it should be and, therefore, usually only allow myself to reach a certain point in relationships with most people. It can be hard to sort and resolve my many feelings regarding friendships: My Anne Shirley desire for a bosom friend and nothing less, My deep need for space and alone time, My ridiculous fear of phones and making phone calls, My lack of patience for the "shallow, boring stuff" at the onset of a friendship... I could go on, but chances are that you already think I'm a nutcase. Then, there's the fact that I haven't put the time into maintaining relationships with some of the wonderful women I have felt very close to in the past (You probably know who you are. Sorry I'm a dork.) On the positive side, I have my best girlfriend in my sister who is always patient with me and always loves me and also calls me out when I'm being stupid. I don't want to sound ungrateful just because I'm feeling odd about other friendships.

Government Spending: I can't help but feel a bit (okay, very) uneasy about the runaway spending in which the government is currently engaging. Honestly, how long could your family survive financially if you continued to spend more and more and more money that you didn't have? I'm no economist, but I think that the American family has to be somewhat of a microcosm of the government. The enduring principles of thrift, staying out of debt, living within means seem like they should apply to governments every bit as much as to individuals. To paraphrase Dave Ramsey, you can't get out of a hole by digging in deeper. I can't seem to muster a lot of hope for the current stimulus package or the massive government bailouts of the past year.

Food Storage: I think our family could live for about 2-3 months on what we have stored. Not perfect, but it's something. And we're working on more. Jessica, I need to call you and ask you some questions about your system for storing and rotating food. The way you do things always seems to make sense to me.

Sleep: I fell asleep in my dress last night. Putting Coco to sleep has gotten increasing difficult lately. And my tired, pregnant body usually just goes to sleep with him. Don't get me wrong, the sleep has been nice. But I usually wake up at 1am disappointed because I missed what little alone time JDub and I get.

Baby: This pregnancy is still surreal to me. I think I felt our little plum move yesterday. We'll see if it continues. But, I love this part. I love when I start feeling them move regularly and they become very real beings. So, I am 13 weeks today. Out of the first trimester, placenta likely fully functioning and starting to build hope that we will actually have a baby in August. I have not struggled with loss or infertility in ways that friends and family have, but I have had enough of a taste that I am a bit apprehensive and probably will continue to be. It also makes every moment of this experience just miraculous for me. Even if I only get to carry this baby for 13 weeks, that 13 weeks will have been a blessing. On another note, JDub calls her Alex. I like the name Alex but like other names better: Milly, Samantha, Claire. We shall see. Of course, she could be a boy.

Birth Dreams: Which leads to this. I had my first birth dream last night. I was all alone with my midwife (who was not the actual midwife I have hired, but a midwife that attended the majority of Coco's birth) and very calm and comfortable. Pushing was fast and easy (something I am really hoping for after the less-than-ideal experience of pushing out an asynclitic babe). And guess what, the baby was a BOY! All in all, it was a good dream though. JDub showed up just as baby was crowning. Nobody else was there. I'm starting to think that may be a good thing for me and am even considering (*gasp*) not hiring a doula this time around. Time will tell.

Xylitol and GSE and Nasal Irrigation: Oh my! I am currently experimenting with nasal irrigation as a way of dealing with the recurrent sinus infections I usually experience during pregnancy. I was finding some comfort and lessening of symptoms with simple irrigation with a saline solution. But, after some research into studies done regarding the antibacterial and antimicrobial properties of both Xylitol and Grapefruit Seed Extract, I have begun to add those to my recipe. I'm not completely clear yet (and the studies all stated that Xylitol and GSE have greater success in preventing sinusitis than clearing existing sinusitis) but I am feeling much better. I am breathing more clearly, having fewer headaches. I wanted to be all scientific about it and record my symptoms and their severity for several days, then record them again after beginning the regimen of nasal irrigation. But, I decided I just didn't have the patience or ambition to do it. But, I'll continue to give you my purely anecdotal feelings on the matter. So far, so good. And I feel much better about attacking the problem directly (with fewer risk of side-effects) than by taking a systemic anitbiotic that is almost sure to end in a yeast infection and other possible side-effects. And if this little experiment doesn't work, I can always hit the doctor up for a z-pack.

Valentine's Day: JDub always out-does me in the gift-giving department. I really want to do something cool for him this year. Any ideas?

Have a good week!